Long Island Family Law and Mediation Blog
When I send a matrimonial difficulties letter, I am often trying to find out whether we can negotiate a separation agreement before filing for divorce. The letter itself is deliberately short, usually. I explain that I represent the recipient’s spouse, say that my client would like to resolve matters amicably, and ask the spouse or an attorney they choose to contact me. “Matrimonial difficulties letter” is the term I use for this initial communication. It is not a document required by New York law, and sending it does not itself start a divorce case. If the other spouse is willing to discuss settlement, that short letter can lead to much more detailed work. We need to move from general intentions about separating to specific terms concerning property, support and, where applicable, the children.
Moving From an Initial Conversation to Negotiation
At the outset, I may not know whether the other spouse has retained counsel or where the spouses agree and disagree. I do not want to send six pages of demands before I have enough information to make a useful proposal. A client might tell me, “We already agreed I’m keeping the house.” Then I discover that nobody has discussed the mortgage, the equity, refinancing, or how long the other spouse is expected to remain on the loan. That understanding gives us a place to start, but there is still work to do before we have complete terms.
Once someone responds, we can begin addressing those details. I may negotiate with another attorney or communicate directly with an unrepresented spouse within the ethical limits that apply. We might work through correspondence, telephone calls, meetings or Zoom. Throughout those discussions, I represent my client. I am not the couple’s neutral mediator or the other spouse’s attorney. The other spouse can obtain independent legal advice about the proposed terms. Continue reading ›
A letter on a matrimonial lawyer’s letterhead has a way of making a marriage problem suddenly feel official, and frightening. If you open your mail or email and see that your spouse has retained an attorney “in connection with your marital difficulties,” your mind may immediately move several steps ahead. Has a divorce been filed? Am I about to be served? Do I need my own lawyer?
When it comes to ending a marriage, couples often face a daunting array of choices, from navigating litigation to negotiating settlements. As a practitioner in matrimonial law, I engage in all facets of this process—litigation, negotiation, mediation, and even collaborative legal methods. Of these, negotiating or mediating a Separation Agreement before filing for divorce can often provide the most straightforward path forward. Here’s why.
Legal experts like family lawyers and divorce attorneys can offer today’s clients a lot more than just assistance with litigation. While one of the most common ways to work with a lawyer is to hire them to help fight your case in court, it’s also possible to explore alternative ways to benefit from the insight and expertise an attorney can give.
During a divorce or separation between parents, and for parents that were never married, there are various issues which need to be considered to ensure the long-term safety and wellbeing of the child. In New York, the courts will often do everything in their power to ensure the negative impact of a divorce, or parents that do not live together, on a child is as minimal as possible. While the end of a relationship, whatever the length (long term or a one-night stand), or a marriage between two parents can be upsetting for a child, it shouldn’t negatively influence that child’s ability to thrive in life.
Stipulations of settlement are a sometimes confusing aspect of family law.
blog, you’ll already know that I’m using this several-stage guide as a way to provide quick and useful information about divorce litigation to anyone who might be considering starting their own case. These guides will act as a source of quick-fire knowledge when you have questions that you need to answer as quickly as possible.
For residents of Long Island and New York, I have long offered divorce mediation as an alternative form of dispute resolution. While I do litigation and traditional settlement negotiations for divorce too, divorce mediation is an opportunity for divorcing or separating parties to come together and negotiate the terms that dictate the end of their relationship. Using divorce mediators, couples can keep the courts largely out of their divorce process, while maintaining more control over what happens next. What’s more, for many people, mediation can be a lot less expensive than paying for litigation.