Articles Posted in Divorce

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Coupledisputebacktoback-300x205When I send a matrimonial difficulties letter, I am often trying to find out whether we can negotiate a separation agreement before filing for divorce. The letter itself is deliberately short, usually. I explain that I represent the recipient’s spouse, say that my client would like to resolve matters amicably, and ask the spouse or an attorney they choose to contact me.  “Matrimonial difficulties letter” is the term I use for this initial communication. It is not a document required by New York law, and sending it does not itself start a divorce case.  If the other spouse is willing to discuss settlement, that short letter can lead to much more detailed work. We need to move from general intentions about separating to specific terms concerning property, support and, where applicable, the children.

Moving From an Initial Conversation to Negotiation

At the outset, I may not know whether the other spouse has retained counsel or where the spouses agree and disagree. I do not want to send six pages of demands before I have enough information to make a useful proposal.  A client might tell me, “We already agreed I’m keeping the house.” Then I discover that nobody has discussed the mortgage, the equity, refinancing, or how long the other spouse is expected to remain on the loan. That understanding gives us a place to start, but there is still work to do before we have complete terms.

Once someone responds, we can begin addressing those details. I may negotiate with another attorney or communicate directly with an unrepresented spouse within the ethical limits that apply. We might work through correspondence, telephone calls, meetings or Zoom.  Throughout those discussions, I represent my client. I am not the couple’s neutral mediator or the other spouse’s attorney. The other spouse can obtain independent legal advice about the proposed terms. Continue reading ›

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Outsidequarrelcouple-300x200A letter on a matrimonial lawyer’s letterhead has a way of making a marriage problem suddenly feel official, and frightening. If you open your mail or email and see that your spouse has retained an attorney “in connection with your marital difficulties,” your mind may immediately move several steps ahead. Has a divorce been filed? Am I about to be served? Do I need my own lawyer?

The first thing to understand is that what I refer to as a “matrimonial difficulties letter” is not a court paper or a document required by New York law. It is simply an initial communication from an attorney intended to open a discussion about marital issues and how they might be resolved.

When I send one of these letters, mine is usually short. I tell the other spouse that I have been retained, explain that my client would like to address the parties’ marital difficulties amicably if possible, and ask the spouse, or an attorney the spouse chooses, to contact me. Continue reading ›

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Couple-Counter-300x200Many people who call me are considering whether to file and server their spouse or to try to negotiate first.

They’ve already lived through the false starts. The awkward holidays. The night-time math. The talks that begin calmly and somehow end in someone standing in the kitchen saying, “I can’t keep doing this.”

So when they finally reach me, they want movement. Filing feels like movement. It has a date. A receipt. A court file. Whether you are in Nassau, Suffolk, or Queens County, it means something real has finally been started, and after months, or years, of private misery, I understand why that feels good.

Still, filing first doesn’t automatically hand you the house, custody, or the better financial deal. It also doesn’t automatically speed up the process of getting everything “figured out”.

A court in New York still divides marital property using equitable distribution, which means the court looks at fairness under the statute, including what counts as marital and separate property. That takes time.  Custody agreements do too, since decisions focus on the child’s best interests, not which parent got to the court first. Continue reading ›

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iStockCoupleblondedigital-300x200For couples all across New York, and Long Island, divorce mediation services have emerged as a valuable, effective alternative to traditional litigation processes.

Although any divorce can be complicated to navigate, particularly when it involves complex decisions about parenting time, equitable distribution, and maintenance, I’ve found that divorce mediation can streamline the journey for many clients. It can reduce the need for individuals to regularly appear in court to argue their case, reduce the stress of the divorce experience, and even help to preserve positive relationships between partners going their separate ways.

In Jefferson County, New York, divorce mediation has long stood as an appealing option to many couples – yet the nature of traditional mediation processes, usually dependant on face-to-face, in-person interactions has limited the number of mediators clients could choose to work with in the past.

Now that family law attorneys and certified mediators like me can offer access to digital mediation sessions, hosted through platforms like Zoom, Jefferson County residents have more freedom than ever before. They can choose any mediator they want to work with – regardless of their location.

Here’s why you might consider choosing me as your virtual divorce mediator. Continue reading ›

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Couplesofa-300x200The end of a marriage is difficult for any couple to navigate. Whether you’ve spent months or years with your partner, untangling your life, working out child custody, parenting time, child support, maintenance (alimony) and assets from theirs can be extremely complex. Often, the first step in streamlining the process, is choosing the right strategy.

For some couples, a traditional litigation procedure will be the most suitable option. For many residents of Oswego County, however, divorce mediation stands as a valuable alternative. While mediation doesn’t appeal to every couple, it can be extremely effective at minimizing the stress associated with the divorce journey, preserving amicable relationships, and accelerating results.

As both a family law attorney in New York, and a divorce mediator, I’ve seen for myself how successful mediation can be, which is why I recommend it to many of my clients. The main issue in the past, has been offering my services to Oswego County residents, located a significant distance from my office in Nassau County, Long Island. Continue reading ›

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Mediationpic21Zoomwomanonescreenmaninoffice-300x200Divorce is always a complex process, but sometimes having a certain level of control over how you approach the journey can make it a lot simpler to manage. For some couples, traditional litigation procedures may be the best, and most effective way to sever the ties created by a marriage.

However, many Chautauqua County couples can also benefit from alternative dispute resolution methods, like mediation. For years, divorce mediation has stood as an attractive solution to couples that want to streamline the divorce process, and avoid unnecessary stress.

Used correctly, it can even help some couples maintain amicable relationships at the end of their marriage, which can be a priority for those with children. When suitable, I often recommend mediation as an option for my clients, though I continue to work as a litigation attorney too.

I’ve seen plenty of evidence, as a divorce mediation lawyer, that meditation can make divorce proceedings less stressful, and more convenient for clients. The biggest challenge many clients have faced in the past, however, has been finding the right mediator for their needs. Continue reading ›

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Mediationpic12lawyersmanglassesblondewoman-300x200In the right circumstances, divorce mediation can be an excellent way for couples in Rensselaer County to come to terms about how they want to navigate the end of their marriage. While litigation is an extremely effective option, which can be necessary in certain circumstances, when alternative dispute resolution options aren’t appropriate, mediation offers numerous benefits.

As both a divorce mediator and family law attorney, Mr. Darren Shapiro frequently recommends divorce mediation as an option, highlighting the opportunity to reduce the stress involved in litigation proceedings, and sometimes accelerate the decision-making process.

In the right circumstances, mediation can be a more convenient, and less stressful way to bring an end to a marriage, and leave a partnership on the right terms. However, finding the ideal mediator hasn’t always been easy, as many Rensselaer County residents have been limited to choosing local professionals, regardless of whether they address their needs completely. Continue reading ›

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Mediationpic24Zoomwomanonscreenmaninoffice-300x200Though the litigation process can be extremely effective, and sometime essential in certain cases, alternative dispute resolution methods have grown increasingly popular over the users. Divorce mediation, for instance, can offer couples a more comfortable way to make decisions at the end of their marriage, eliminating or reducing the time spent in court rooms, or presenting information to judges.

Though I’m both a family law attorney and divorce mediator, I frequently recommend divorce mediation to couples for various reasons. It can help reduce the stress involved in the divorce journey, and even allow individuals to preserve amicable relationships with their former partners.

However, though divorce mediation is now common in New York, Long Island, and throughout the US, finding the right mediator hasn’t always been simple. Many Schenectady County residents, for instance, have long been restricted to local mediators, because mediations were traditionally hosted face-to-face. Fortunately, this is starting to change.

Since the pandemic, my Law and Mediation Office has implemented new processes that allow mediators like me to offer virtual mediation options to Schenectady County residents, and couples all over New York. Here’s your guide to the benefits of virtual mediation. Continue reading ›

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Maintenance-Fight-300x200Divorce mediation is one of the most popular forms of alternative dispute resolution, and a process I recommend considering for New Yorker’s contemplating dissolving their marriage. In an article referenced on Mediate.com it was stated that studies have shown that mediation can drive amicable resolutions in around 80% of cases. While I have not reviewed the stated studies I think it is fair to say that eighty percent or more of the couples that start mediation with me end up resolving the case and reaching a settlement.  I litigate and mediate and can honestly say that mediation is in almost all instances also less expensive, less stressful, and less complex than litigation.

In the past, usually, the way to access mediation services was to book face-to-face sessions with a professional. For the many clients who don’t want to have to drive long distances to find a mediator, this often limited their option on who they could work with.

However, all that has begun to change. Since the pandemic, the digital world, and the courts of New York, through e-filing, have begun supporting mediators like me with virtual options and digital filing. We can host sessions with residents of Broome County, or any other locations over channels like Zoom, and even e-file documents with the courts, to make the mediation process more convenient than ever. Continue reading ›

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Lawyerlaptop-300x200Relationships can end for a variety of reasons, but even if the split is amicable, most couples want to part ways with a dispute resolution method that’s as painful and convenient as possible.

That’s one of the reasons why divorce mediation is so popular in New York and the rest of the country. It can offer a less stressful alternative to litigation, and can even save couples time and money when ending their marriage. However, while couples in Ulster County, New York, have had access to divorce mediation services for some time, their options for choosing the right divorce mediator have often been limited.

A focus on face-to-face mediation sessions over the years has prompted many people to choose local mediation services, even if they don’t adhere to their specific needs. Fortunately, virtual mediation is now an option, allowing mediators like me to conduct meetings with Ulster County couples through channels like Zoom, and e-file documents with the courts. Continue reading ›

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