Long Island Family Law and Mediation Blog

Herkimer County is big enough to make the word “local” a little complicated for couples in search of a divorce mediation solution. It covers more than 1,400 square miles. A couple in Ilion and a couple near Old Forge can be dealing with the same divorce system while having a very different idea of what “meet at 2 p.m.” actually involves.

After more than twenty years in New York family law, I can definitely say I’ve lost any kind of sentimental attachment to traditional conference rooms. If we need ninety minutes to talk through a pension, a house, or a parenting schedule, I know plenty of couples that would rather spend those minutes on the actual problem, rather than driving, parking or planning around weather conditions.

After all, most divorces come with a lot to sort through. In Herkimer County, couples can find themselves untangling relationships that have gone on for shorter periods of times or for more than 20 years, which means covering everything from who gets the house, to retirement, maintenance, and parenting plans. Continue reading ›

Otsego County covers more than 1,000 square miles, with about 58 people per square mile. Those figures sound like dry census material until you’re trying to arrange one meeting for two spouses living in different towns, working different hours and possibly sharing responsibility for children. A 90-minute appointment can swallow most of an afternoon before anybody has discussed the house, the retirement account or where the kids will spend Thanksgiving.

I’ve spent years handling divorce and family law matters, and I’ve never believed extra inconvenience improves anybody’s judgment. People already arrive carrying enough. They’re worried about money, where they’ll live and whether a parenting schedule that looks reasonable in July will still work on an Otsego County road in January.

Mediation can’t make a divorce simple, even when it’s handled virtually. Sometimes, there are situations that can make traditional litigation the only reliable route forward. But for the right people, virtual mediation offers room to make serious decisions without turning geography into one more problem. Continue reading ›

Divorce is tricky wherever you live. In Washington County, the complications can add up fast. There are several questions to answer straight away.

Who stays in the house? What happens to the retirement account? Can one parent still manage pickup if the other moves twenty-five minutes away? What if winter roads make a schedule that looked fine in July completely useless by January?

Washington County isn’t built like a compact suburb where everyone is ten minutes from the same office park. It runs long and rural, with no cities, a county seat in Fort Edward, and families spread through places like Granville, Greenwich, Salem, Whitehall, Fort Ann, Argyle, Kingsbury, and Cambridge. A “quick meeting” isn’t always quick once work, kids, weather, and the drive are involved.

Virtual mediation could be the answer many couples are looking for. While it’s true that some cases belong in court, when two people can sit down with real numbers and enough self-control to keep talking, Washington County divorce mediation can keep the work where it belongs: on the decisions, not the fight around them. Continue reading ›

Going into a divorce, people know it’s going to be uncomfortable. Money gets dissected. Parenting schedules get debated. What they don’t want is a prolonged battle that eats up savings and turns minor disputes into major standoffs. Avoiding added stress and legal expense isn’t easy when the default path is litigation.

In Warren County, many divorces involve picking apart the layers of long-term marriages, dealing with shared homes that might have appreciated sharply in value, dealing with pensions and retirement accounts built over decades, all in an attempt to figure out what comes next.

Litigation can take most of the decision-making out of your hands, and sometimes, that’s the right move, particularly when the situation involves a lot of conflict. Mediation, on the other hand, gives Warren County couples another path. Instead of structuring your life around a court date in Glens Falls, you structure the process around actual problem-solving. Continue reading ›

Divorce isn’t just a legal step. It changes your whole life. It doesn’t really matter who wanted it or why it’s happening, it still takes a toll. You’ll have to deal with money, kids, property, and a dozen other things you didn’t plan for. Trying to do it all alone usually makes things harder. Getting help matters. But there are different ways to get support.

Sometimes, the best option will always be taking your case to the courts. Working with a licensed attorney and taking the traditional route is sometimes the choice when there’s high conflict or safety concerns to think about.  I represent people in the Long Island and New York City area in court proceedings, or out of court negotiations or as a behind the scenes consultant (I can be hired as a negotiator when there is not a court case or a behind the scenes consultant for upstate residents as well.) Continue reading ›

Divorce has a way of pulling in every part of your life at once. It’s emotional, of course, but it’s also about money, children, property, and paperwork. I’ve sat across from clients who were exhausted before we even started, not because of the marriage ending, but because the legal steps felt endless.

Court litigation has always been the default, and sometimes it has to be, when there’s real conflict, or when safety is an issue. But it isn’t always necessary. Divorce Mediation gives couples another route. Instead of arguing in front of a judge, you can sit down with someone neutral and work through decisions together. The tough decisions still have to be made, but the process often feels different.

In Cayuga County, though, this route isn’t always easy to take. If you live outside Auburn, chances are you’ve had to look to Syracuse or Rochester for divorce mediation. That means an afternoon off work, child care to arrange, and hours on Route 34 or the Thruway. In the middle of February, with snow blowing sideways, it can feel impossible. Some people have delayed divorce for months or longer because just getting to mediation seemed out of reach. Continue reading ›

Divorce affects every couple differently, but it’s never easy, or straightforward. Even when both parties agree that parting ways is the best way forward, the complexity mounts up. Sometimes, dividing up assets isn’t even the most difficult part. The challenge comes from sitting across a table from someone you planned to spend your entire life with, and trying to agree on what’s next.

There was a time when ending a marriage followed one “common route”. You and your partner went to court, and hoped a judge, who didn’t really know your family, would outline a fair path. In some cases, that’s still the best strategy. Many couples find litigation to be the only way to cleanly and objectively navigate the end of a marriage.

However, there are alternative options now, like mediation – a more collaborative, less formal approach to divorce that often appeals to couples who want to maintain an amicable relationship with their ex, cut costs, or simply avoid spending too much time in court rooms. The challenge, though, comes in finding a divorce mediator that actually fits your needs. That’s where virtual mediation is becoming increasingly valuable as a New York State Divorce Mediation process, for couples that want flexibility and freedom. Continue reading ›

There’s a reason why divorce is described as one of the most disruptive and stressful things a person can go through. It’s painful on an emotional level – even if you and your ex-spouse agree that the best path forward should take you in different directions. But there’s another side to it too, filled with endless paperwork, complex decisions, and sometimes appearances in court you’d rather avoid.

The traditional way of handling divorce, with litigation and attorneys (like me), is still valuable today, particularly in some situations, like when couples have a hard time finding common ground. However lately, alternative dispute resolution methods like mediation have been gaining more attention.
Even before the New York courts started pushing couples to work through their issues with a mediator (prior to speaking to a judge), many couples found divorce mediation less stressful, time-consuming, and expensive. Unfortunately, many also struggled with limitations, like finding a divorce mediator that was available, had the experience they needed, and happened to be close to home.

Now, virtual mediation is helping to expand the reach of flexible mediation services to all kinds of Cattaraugus county couples, giving them the freedom to take the next step in their journey with confidence, clarity, and a little more control. Continue reading ›