Long Island Family Law and Mediation Blog
Mediation represents an excellent opportunity for parties in a divorce to settle their issues using negotiation, rather than litigation in front of the 
family or supreme courts. In the right circumstances, working with a divorce mediator such as myself could also mean that you get to maintain more control over what happens with your divorce, as you can come to an agreement that can be drafted and sent to the courts for approval. However, there are many different kinds of mediation available in the world of family law, and it’s important to decide which option is right for you before you get started. My last blog was about the positives involving caucusing in divorce mediation. In this article I will point out some of the counter considerations.
I, and other divorce mediators like myself, can offer clients the opportunity for caucusing in mediation, in situations where it may be appropriate. In divorce mediation with caucus sessions, each party will have the chance to take a moment away from the joint session so that they can discuss an issue with their divorce mediator in private. Crucially, this isn’t an opportunity for either party to get exceptional legal help from their mediator or guidance on what to do next. Instead, caucusing moments can be used to gain clarity on a situation, or discuss what might be possible if a specific negotiation path is suggested.
Usually, when clients come to me in search of an experienced divorce mediator, they’re looking for someone to help them with their negotiation that they both feel as though they can trust. For the most part, to this point, I and the people that I work with have engaged in mediation without caucusing. I have felt that this keeps all information out and in the open, rather than causing one party to worry about what the other says behind closed doors. Mediation often works best when both parties feel comfortable with the idea that their mediator is neutral and objective. However, if both parties in the divorce are comfortable with the idea of caucusing, then the solution can offer a range of benefits too. Continue reading ›
The concept of caucus in mediation was originally designed to provide parties in a mediation dispute with some time to move away from joint sessions and discuss concepts with an advisor or divorce mediator on their own. These separate sessions weren’t intended to give the parties more support or an unfair advantage over their counterpart. Instead, the caucus sessions allow for the clarification of issues, the opportunity to reflect on short-term and long-term goals, and the chance to reflect on proposals and options for the future. According 
The courtroom is rarely a place that most people want to visit when dealing with their matrimonial issues. More often than not, a day in court is a stressful experience, particularly when it comes to dealing with things like divorce, child custody, and visitation rights. It’s no wonder that many individuals prefer to negotiate their divorce outside of court if possible. While there are ways for people to avoid the courts, such as using divorce mediation, not all spouses know for definite whether their spouse will agree to an alternative dispute resolution process like divorce mediation or collaborative law. In these circumstances, it’s important to keep your options open. 
Divorce is rarely straightforward. There are a lot of things that couples need to cover when a marriage comes to an end, including figuring out how debts and assets should be divided between parties, and determining who should have primary custody over the children. However, depending on the nature of your relationship with your ex-spouse, and the strategy you choose for managing your divorce, it is possible to make things a little simpler.
When an inquiry comes in for someone inquiring about getting a divorce, someone from my office attempts to ascertain from them whether they are interested in using our office as a neutral divorce mediator. If they’re interested in mediation, we invite them to bring their spouse to come in for a free initial consultation to meet with me. We explain that I do not, at least initially, meet with the couple one on one, or have an initial consultation with either one of them before meeting the couple together. The consultation is usually up to a half hour in length, although some couples choose to immediately begin mediating that day after the initial consultation. 
While many aspects of family law may stay the same over the years, certain components may also need to be changed to adhere to the evolving nature of life in the United States. Recently, the federal tax law was changed, with the change in the taxation of maintenance (alimony) payments that came into effect on the 1st of January 2019. According to the rules of this new law, maintenance payments delivered from one spouse to another can no longer be classed as a tax deduction for the payor. Additionally, the payee no longer has to count those payments as taxable income. What this means is that there can be greater resistance to the payment of maintenance than before.
There are many complicated things that a couple may need to address when it comes to managing their divorce. Everything from child custody agreements, to how assets and debts will be shared needs to be considered by the parties involved. In mediation, a mediator such as myself can work with a couple to guide them through their discussions about things like equitable distribution. The process of equitable distribution isn’t just about splitting things 50/50 after all. The parties need to think about how assets and debts can be shared fairly.
There are many complicated aspects of family law. Arranging equitable distribution in a divorce can be difficult, particularly in cases where it’s hard for the couple to agree. Deciding who should get control over a family home is also a complex discussion. However, few things require more caution and careful consideration than issues associated with child custody. Not only does a child custody agreement need to be approved by a court based on an observation of what’s in the child’s “best interests,” but changing the order is a challenge. Even if a modification of child was right for the child, absent an agreement about it, the court would need to see a substantial change in circumstances before even getting to the issue of whether the modification is in the best interests of the child or children. 
There’s more to mediation in the family law area than most people think. While divorce mediation can be a powerful solution for people who want to bring an end to their marriage, address their separation, and more, there are also opportunities for those who might want to continue their marriage too. Mediation is a process that allows individuals to talk freely about the things that matter with a neutral third-party individual. Although I’m not a therapist, I am an experienced and trained mediator that can help with all aspects marital law. 
As a divorce attorney and divorce mediator, I often ask questions to learn more about my clients and their cases. Many aspects of law revolve around the ability to ask the right questions at the correct times. Recently, I attended a conference at the New York State Council of Divorce Mediation, to further my education on Divorce Mediation and network with my peers. During that event, Kenneth Cloke, JD, Ph.D., and LLM provided an interesting training session on the “art of asking questions.” This session raised some interesting insights in the questions in divorce and family law mediation cases, and I’ve written this blog to share those insights with you.