Long Island Family Law and Mediation Blog
This blog is a continuation of my bullet point series on divorce mediation that summarizes my past mediation blogs –
Maintenance, also know as alimony, can be discussed with your divorce mediator. How much money, if any, and for how long one spouse should pay the other maintenance needs to be discussed. Some couples each feel that they are capable of making enough money to be able to support themselves. In those cases, waivers of maintenance by each spouse is possible. Other times there is a feeling that one side of the relationship needs money over a period of time in order to be able to get back on their feet. If there is not an agreement about maintenance couples can be reminded that there are guidelines in the law, based on income, and the length of the marriage for how much and how long maintenance presumably should last. But they are just guidelines. Sometimes, if the couple wants to hear about the guidelines it might be a useful discussion to have regarding the topic of maintenance. In mediation, though, we are not bound to the statutory guidelines. The focus of the conversation could be about budgets and how much each side of the table needs in order to transition into their new lives and meet their monthly expenses.
Likewise, if there are minor children (under 21 for child support purposes), the payment of child support needs to be discussed. This topic too can center around budgets and how is everyone going to meet their monthly expenses and take care of the children. While couples are not bound by the statutory guidelines for child support, every agreement in child support, even if it deviates from the guideline amount of child support, must spell out what the statutory guidelines are in order for the agreement to be binding. Therefore, when I draft the settlement agreement the child support section will spell out the guideline amount of child support. Sometimes we might discuss the guideline numbers in the mediation sessions, but the parties will definitively know the guideline numbers before the agreement is signed. We can discuss and spell out legally recognized reasons for deviating from the guidelines in our mediations and mediated agreements. Continue reading ›
continue my summary of my divorce mediation blogs from over the years.
points –
In my last blog, I discussed the arrival of presumptive mediation as a mandatory addition to New York divorce cases. Presumptive mediation for family court cases on custody has now arrived in New York, as of the fall of 2019. So far, this is how I have seen this implementation work in the Nassau County family court. When custody cases are filed, whether it’s for a modification of an existing custody arrangement, or it’s a new custody case, the first court appearance will be schedule for mediation. A neutral mediator will be assigned to the case that can work for the court, and the case will be scheduled. The parties will be entitled to have their lawyers in the mediation if they choose. If the court has assigned an attorney to represent the child or children in the case, they will be able to attend the mediation too.
The May 16, 2019 article of Dan M. Clark in the New York Law Journal outlined 
For residents of Long Island and New York, I have long offered divorce mediation as an alternative form of dispute resolution. While I do litigation and traditional settlement negotiations for divorce too, divorce mediation is an opportunity for divorcing or separating parties to come together and negotiate the terms that dictate the end of their relationship. Using divorce mediators, couples can keep the courts largely out of their divorce process, while maintaining more control over what happens next. What’s more, for many people, mediation can be a lot less expensive than paying for litigation.
Dealing with a divorce is always an emotional and tiring process – no matter whether your relationship ends amicably or otherwise. Sometimes, the best way to keep issues to a minimum is to choose a form of conflict resolution that requires as little input from the courts as possible. With a solution like divorce mediation, you can maintain more control over what happens during your divorce, and even choose the perfect outcome for you and your partner. Mediation also gives families the opportunity to maintain some semblance of a relationship after a divorce takes place, by keeping the tension between a mother and father, or husband and wife to a minimum. However, mediation isn’t the right option for everyone.
In my last two blog posts, I’ve discussed the considerations that take place when a divorcing by mediation couple is wondering whether or not to engage in divorce mediation by caucus. For some people, caucusing is an excellent way to keep emotions under control and support the successful outcome of divorce mediation. For others, caucusing may cause more problems than it solves. In this blog, I’ll be discussing the procedures and ground rules that divorce mediators like myself consider when clients opt to take the caucus session route. For me, the most important initial rule is to make sure that both parties are completely comfortable with the idea of caucusing. I can do this by discussing the options that both clients have with them during a joint mediation session. Once that decision has been made, the couple will sign an agreement on confidentiality of information.