Long Island Family Law and Mediation Blog
Many people who call me are considering whether to file and server their spouse or to try to negotiate first.
They’ve already lived through the false starts. The awkward holidays. The night-time math. The talks that begin calmly and somehow end in someone standing in the kitchen saying, “I can’t keep doing this.”
So when they finally reach me, they want movement. Filing feels like movement. It has a date. A receipt. A court file. Whether you are in Nassau, Suffolk, or Queens County, it means something real has finally been started, and after months, or years, of private misery, I understand why that feels good.
Still, filing first doesn’t automatically hand you the house, custody, or the better financial deal. It also doesn’t automatically speed up the process of getting everything “figured out”.
A court in New York still divides marital property using equitable distribution, which means the court looks at fairness under the statute, including what counts as marital and separate property. That takes time. Custody agreements do too, since decisions focus on the child’s best interests, not which parent got to the court first. Continue reading ›