Long Island Family Law and Mediation Blog
Divorce affects every couple differently, but it’s never easy, or straightforward. Even when both parties agree that parting ways is the best way forward, the complexity mounts up. Sometimes, dividing up assets isn’t even the most difficult part. The challenge comes from sitting across a table from someone you planned to spend your entire life with, and trying to agree on what’s next.
There was a time when ending a marriage followed one “common route”. You and your partner went to court, and hoped a judge, who didn’t really know your family, would outline a fair path. In some cases, that’s still the best strategy. Many couples find litigation to be the only way to cleanly and objectively navigate the end of a marriage.
However, there are alternative options now, like mediation – a more collaborative, less formal approach to divorce that often appeals to couples who want to maintain an amicable relationship with their ex, cut costs, or simply avoid spending too much time in court rooms. The challenge, though, comes in finding a divorce mediator that actually fits your needs. That’s where virtual mediation is becoming increasingly valuable as a New York State Divorce Mediation process, for couples that want flexibility and freedom.
Understanding Virtual Divorce Mediation in Clinton County
Clinton County is a region that many might travel to both for work, and recreation. For visitors, it’s a place of tranquillity, peace, and exceptional beauty, home to locations like Valcour Island, and the Point AU Roche State park.
Drive along the lake and you’ll see boats pulled up at small marinas; head inland and it’s dairy farms, quiet towns, and long views of the mountains. Plattsburgh anchors it all – part small city, part college town, still carrying pieces of its Air Force base history.
However, the people who live in this restful county still face the same relationship and live challenges as everywhere else. Divorce is a process that many couples need to face, and many do prefer the alternative dispute resolution method of working with a divorce mediator offers.
The hurdle for these couples isn’t choosing mediation as a path forward, it’s finding a mediator that makes the process feel comfortable, and tailored to them. While some are lucky enough to find local mediators with the availability they need, many end up driving hours out of the county just for regular sessions. Sometimes, idea of tacking on extra travel just to talk through difficult issues is enough to steer some couples back towards litigation.
Virtual mediation, offered by professionals like me, is emerging as a way to overcome those obstacles, in the right circumstances.
The Value of Virtual Divorce Mediation
Virtual mediation is still a relatively new concept for most, although at this point, it’s becoming a lot more common. Following the pandemic, when many face-to-face meetings became virtual, mediation sessions hosted over platforms like Zoom became the everyday norm. Even now that social distancing isn’t mandatory, many couples prefer the virtual experience.
The biggest change is choice. Instead of being boxed in by geography, couples can now pick a mediator based on the qualities that actually matter: experience, personality, and whether the approach feels like a good fit. I’ve had people tell me they were relieved not to have to “settle” for whoever happened to be within driving distance. Now they can look further afield and still meet from the comfort of their kitchen table.
Convenience is part of it too. I’ve worked with parents who would have needed childcare just to attend an in-person session. Others were juggling work shifts, school pickups, and long commutes. Logging in from home instead of driving an hour each way made the process doable, not just another stress piled on top of everything else.
Comfort is also a factor. Some couples find it easier to talk about difficult issues when they’re in familiar surroundings. I’ve noticed that in virtual sessions, people sometimes open up sooner, maybe because they don’t feel like they’re “on stage” in an office or courthouse. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, divorce never is, but it can make the conversations a little more honest, and a little less intimidating.
Why Clinton County Couples Choose Me for Virtual Mediation
Every divorce mediator brings something different to the table. Some focus only on facilitating conversation. Others lean more heavily on structure. What I’ve found over the years is that couples usually want a balance: someone who can keep things fair and respectful, but also someone who understands how the law tends to work in practice.
I’ve been working in family law in New York for more than two decades. Before opening my own practice, I started out representing clients through the Suffolk County Assigned Counsel Panel. Those early cases taught me how complicated divorce can be, legally, and emotionally. Over time, I saw how often families wanted to avoid the courtroom but didn’t know where else to turn. That’s part of what led me to offer mediation as a service.
Clients often say that what draws them to me isn’t just the years of legal experience, though that helps when we’re talking about things like equitable distribution or parenting time. It’s also the way I adapt my approach. Sometimes a couple benefits from interest-based mediation, where the focus is on uncovering what really matters to each side. Other times, it helps to use evaluative strategies, sharing how courts might view a certain issue, so people don’t waste energy arguing over something unlikely to hold up.
I’ve also heard clients mention something less formal: they appreciate the tone of the sessions. Divorce already comes with enough pressure. My role isn’t to add to that. I try to keep the space calm and steady, so both people feel they can speak honestly without being judged or rushed.
The Virtual Divorce Mediation Experience I Provide
No two relationships are the same, so no two mediation strategies can match either. Some couples arrive already on the same page about most things. Others come in carrying years of frustration, and complex concerns. My job is to meet people where they are, and shape the process to fit their situation.
What helps my clients here is how I adapt to fit their needs. Sessions may start simple, with each person speaking, uninterrupted about the issues that matter most to them. During this time, I may use open-ended questioning to delve into the reasons behind certain concerns or priorities.
Interest-based negotiation helps when we need to get underneath positions (“I want the house”) to the priorities behind them (“I want stability for the kids”). Evaluative techniques come in when it’s useful to think about what a judge might identify as “fair” for both parties. When conversations struggle to move forward, facilitative strategies like reframing or brainstorming can help keep things moving.
Hosting these sessions virtually doesn’t diminish the approach. It often just gives people more flexibility, more comfort because they in familiar surroundings, and more time to focus on the process, rather than worrying about travel.
Is Virtual Divorce Mediation Right for You?
Mediation isn’t for everyone. There will always be situations that require the structured approach of litigation. If there’s a major imbalance of power in the relationship, or if one person simply isn’t willing to participate in good faith, mediation won’t get very far.
But for many couples in Clinton County, mediation offers a path that feels more respectful and less draining. It’s private. It gives both people the chance to shape their own agreements instead of leaving everything to a judge. It usually costs less, both financially and emotionally, than months of court appearances. It can also preserve a working relationship, which matters a lot when children are involved.
Ending a marriage is never easy, but the process you choose can make a difference in how you come through it. In Clinton County, where local options have sometimes been limited, virtual mediation opens the door to something more flexible. Couples don’t have to choose support based on proximity. They can pick a mediator whose style and experience fit what they need, and they can do it without the long drives or the waiting lists.
If you think this approach might be right for you, I offer a 30-minute free consultation for both you and your partner where you can ask questions, and discuss any issues that might be causing concerns. Please contact my office via the contact form on this website, or over the phone, and I’ll do my best to help you determine if virtual mediation is the next step forward.