The traditional way of handling divorce, with litigation and attorneys (like me), is still valuable today, particularly in some situations, like when couples have a hard time finding common ground. However lately, alternative dispute resolution methods like mediation have been gaining more attention.
Even before the New York courts started pushing couples to work through their issues with a mediator (prior to speaking to a judge), many couples found divorce mediation less stressful, time-consuming, and expensive. Unfortunately, many also struggled with limitations, like finding a divorce mediator that was available, had the experience they needed, and happened to be close to home.
Now, virtual mediation is helping to expand the reach of flexible mediation services to all kinds of Cattaraugus county couples, giving them the freedom to take the next step in their journey with confidence, clarity, and a little more control.
What Virtual Divorce Mediation Looks Like in Cattaraugus County
Cattaraugus County, located in Western New York, is the kind of place you’d expect to see in nature movies, or on old post cards. You can drive twenty minutes and go from the bustle of Olean’s shops to two-lane roads lined with barns, to a trailhead where the cell signal drops out completely.
Allegany State Park pulls hikers from all over New York, and Ellicottville fills up with skiers every winter, but outside those pockets? Life is spread out. Which is beautiful, until you actually need services that aren’t right next door.
Divorce mediation is one of those services. Of course, couples can find mediators in Buffalo or Jamestown, but that’s a full afternoon gone, maybe more if you’re juggling kids, work shifts, or a long drive in winter. For some couples, just the logistics of “getting there” is enough to stall the process before it even starts.
That’s where virtual mediation changes things. Instead of asking, “Who’s closest to me?” you get to ask, “Who actually feels like the right fit for us?” Having more freedom of choice when it comes to your divorce mediator might not make the whole process feel seamless, but it does make it more convenient. You stop worrying about lining up child care or fuel money for each meeting.
Instead, you can focus on talking through real issues, and getting to a stage where “moving on” doesn’t feel nearly as complicated. Sometimes, the process even moves faster. People tend to open up differently when they’re sitting at their own kitchen table. It’s not that the conversations are easy, but at least they feel like they’re happening on your terms.
The Growth of Virtual Mediation in Cattaraugus County
Five years ago, most people wouldn’t have considered handling something as personal as divorce online. Then the pandemic came, and suddenly, court hearings, doctor visits, even family birthdays were happening through a screen. It was awkward for some at first, but now clicking a link to meet with someone across the state feels normal.
For Cattaraugus county residents, that shift is important. When you’re not to geography, you actually get a choice. Instead of settling for the one mediator you can physically drive to, you can look for someone who actually understands your situation.
Sometimes, that means finding someone with years of experience handling complex money issues, or difficult family dynamics. Other times, it means looking for someone with a therapeutic background, who can help keep the situation calm.
For many couples – particularly the ones who choose to work with me as a divorce mediator, it helps to work with someone who has experienced the legal side of things on a deeper level. Not all mediators are former attorneys. I became a lawyer in 1999. I have more than 20 years of divorce and family law experience. In my earlier years I gained experienced working on the Suffolk County Assigned Panel, and established my own law firm now solely taking on private clients, I’ve gained a different perspective.
I can walk couples through different concepts, from how parenting time decisions are made by the courts, to what equitable distribution really comes down to, and give them real clarity, based on genuine cases and results I’ve achieved in the past. That alone can be extremely reassuring.
My Approach to Virtual Divorce Mediation in Cattaraugus County
Every mediator comes from a different background, and brings a different style to their process. Some just keep the conversation moving. Others lean heavy on legal details. Most couples want a mix of both: someone steady enough to keep things fair, but experienced enough to explain how the law actually plays out in New York.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned from over two decades as a family law lawyer is this: no two families are the same. A couple in Ellicottville splitting a ski condo faces different questions than parents in Randolph figuring out farm property. Mediation can’t be one-size-fits-all, so I shape the approach around what matters most to you.
Sometimes that means interest-based conversations, digging into the “why” behind positions. (“I want the house” often really means “I want stability for the kids.”) Other times, it’s more evaluative – walking through what a judge would likely decide so you’re not spinning your wheels.
Tone matters too. These sessions aren’t meant to pile more pressure onto an already heavy moment. My role is to steady the space, not control it. Couples often tell me that’s what makes the difference: they feel like they can breathe, speak honestly, and still move forward.
A typical session might start simple. Each person gets space to lay out what matters most to them, without interruption. From there, we start unpacking, looking at the reasons underneath things with open-ended questions and patience.
I use different tools depending on what the moment calls for. Interest-based strategies to uncover priorities. Evaluative feedback if it helps to hear how a court might see things. Facilitative techniques like reframing or brainstorming when conversations stall.
Doing this virtually sometimes even gives couples more room to focus on the substance, not the logistics. You’re at home, in a space you know. You didn’t just spend an hour driving, or sit in traffic replaying the same arguments in your head. You can log in, have the hard conversations, and log out without adding three layers of stress on top.
Is Virtual Divorce Mediation in Cattaraugus County Right for You?
Mediation isn’t the answer for every couple. If there’s a serious power imbalance in the relationship, or if one person refuses to participate fully, the process can crumble. In those cases, the court may still be the better route.
But for many families in Cattaraugus County, mediation offers something court can’t: privacy, dignity, and control. You’re shaping your own agreements, not leaving it all in a judge’s hands. That usually means less financial strain, fewer emotional bruises, and a better chance of preserving a working relationship afterward.
At its best, mediation doesn’t just end a marriage. It sets both people up for the next chapter with a little less damage, and a little more clarity. Virtual mediation simply ensures you can take that next step with more freedom.
If you think divorce mediation, virtual, or in person, might be right for your situation, reach out to my office today. You can get in touch through the contact form on this website, or give us a call to arrange an initial consultation, up to thirty minutes long, with yourself and your partner.
I look forward to helping you move forward.